Getting ready

It’s good to think through what you want to discuss during mediation, and what options might work for your children’s needs.

Before coming to mediation, we encourage you to consider the following:

• Think about how you would like the childcare arrangements to work, considering what’s best for the tamariki and when the other people involved will get to see them.
• Use the parenting plan information available on the Ministry of Justice website to start thinking about the types of arrangements you need to make.
• Think about the activities your tamariki are involved in, and what practical arrangements are needed so they can keep doing them. Also think about school holidays, birthdays and other special occasions.
• Think about your children’s need for relationships with extended whānau and friends, and how they can be accommodated.
• Think about what support you need to be the best parent you can be – you are also very important in this process.

When people come to mediation it’s often because communication has broken down. To help you communicate better through your mediation, and get the most from your meetings, your mediator may recommend arranging Preparation for Mediation coaching.

These sessions are a mixture of support work and coaching by an experienced conflict coach. Many have a background in counselling or as mediators, so they can support you to get the most in your session. Preparation for Mediation is an opportunity to upskill and think about how our communication styles, behaviour and emotions impact us.

The sessions are 60 to 90 minutes long and are often held online. People generally find their mediation sessions to be more conversational, and that they are better able to reach agreement, because of this learning experience.

There’s no extra cost for Preparation for Mediation coaching session – their time is included in the 12 hours of FDR services available over a 12-month period.

Fair Way is committed to a child-inclusive process throughout our Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) mediation service.

Our child-inclusive approach recognises that you as the parents and caregivers are the decision makers, but that your decisions are made with the best interests and developmental needs of your tamariki and rangatahi at heart.

Research tells us that when the views of tamariki and rangatahi are heard and respected and actively considered, parenting plans are likely to be stronger and last longer.

Our Child Specialists will help you and your tamariki and rangatahi to navigate this process. If appropriate (and agreed) the Child Specialist will meet with your tamariki and rangatahi to enable them to have a voice. This will be in a way which is meaningful and empowering for them yet recognises that they do not want to be the decision makers!

The Child Specialist will discuss with you how your tamariki and rangatahi may be able to participate in the FDR process. This will include hearing from you how you think they are doing, and what your hopes and concerns are. It is an opportunity for you to ask questions about child-inclusion and to make decisions about how your tamariki and rangatahi might participate (there are many ways in which this can happen).

We know that every whānau is different so the Child Specialist will talk with you about the ways they can work with you that best suit your whānau. The goal is for child-inclusion to be age appropriate and safe.