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Get your family ready for the holidays

Article

Fair Way’s Family Dispute Resolution team share some advice to support separated families through the Christmas and summer holiday period.

The summer holidays are just around the corner and while there is a lot to celebrate, for many whānau, December and January are often difficult periods to navigate.

“The summer holiday period can throw a spanner into the works for many separated families. With Christmas and the school holidays, there are added pressures. Their usual care, contact and financial arrangements may not work over this period,” explains Will Story, Operations Manager of Fair Way’s Family Dispute Resolution mediation service.

Added to all the practical arrangements are the heightened emotional elements. Parents want to create special memories for their children, and that can produce added pressures and expectations to have the perfect day. It can also be challenging if you don’t have your tamariki with you on Christmas Day – not only for parents but for grandparents and the wider whānau.

A key to successfully navigating the Christmas and summer holiday period is preparation, says Will.

“For some families, Christmas can be all about deploying survival mode. But it doesn’t need to be, as with a bit of help to work through communicating and planning you can find a way forward. Our approach is to start with a conversation about your kids, focusing on their needs during this time. You can begin to make plans and arrangements from there.”
 

Things to think about

Here are some of areas that Will encourages parents to think about over the Christmas period.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

  • What arrangements are needed for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day?
  • What are the expectations around gifts? Where will presents be opened?
  • Can they phone or Facetime on Christmas morning? How can relatives get in touch?

Trips away

  • Do you intend to leave the region for any reason? Have you any holidays planned?
  • Will the child go on holiday with you? Do travel arrangements need to be made?
  • How can the other parent get in touch with the child while they are away?
  • Who will look after the costs? Does the child need pocket money?

Childcare, school and work arrangements

  • When does school or childcare close and reopen during this period?
  • Who will look after the children during the day?
  • Who else can look after the children?

Are there any religious considerations?

  • Are there any religious celebrations that are important to the family?
  • Do both parents share the same religious views?
  • Which church or place of worship will the child attend? Who from the family will attend?

If you cannot reach agreement or would like some assistance to have those conversations, Family Dispute Resolution mediation is a good option.
 

Here to help

“I would recommend that families get in touch with us sooner, rather than later, so we can help them prepare in advance and address any potential issues before the main holidays,” said Will.

When a parent or guardian gets in touch with Fair Way, our friendly Resolution Coordinators will explain the process, answer any questions and get in touch with the other parent. We learn about your whānau, explain what Family Dispute Resolution or FDR mediation is, and encourage everyone to come together to make a plan for your family.  Following a brief screening and assessment process, which usually takes around 30 minutes, the mediation process can get underway quickly.

We understand how important it is to you to get plans in place before the summer break. In most cases, you will be contacted by your mediator within 48 hours. The mediator will work with both of you to address any immediate needs for the Christmas period, as well as longer term arrangements.

The mediator can work with the parents, guardians and even extended family members to make a short-term plan for the Christmas period.

In the New Year, the mediator can work with you again to develop longer term arrangements.

“We understand how stressful this period can be for parents, so we make every effort to help families to develop a workable plan for the Christmas period. I would encourage any parent, guardian or family member with concerns around parenting issues over the holidays to get in touch with our team right away so we can help you to make arrangements,” said Will.

There are also lots of added benefits. On top of the mediation, you can get support from a dedicated Child Specialist for your whānau, involve a Voice of Child to help you understand your child’s views, and through Preparation for Mediation can learn communication tools for the future at dedicated coaching sessions, which are all part of the FDR experience with Fair Way.
 

Want to know more?

Our specialist Family Dispute Resolution service (FDR) helps families going through separation and others who need support to create a parenting plan.

We have highly experienced and accredited family mediators all around Aotearoa New Zealand, so we can arrange a mediation venue near you or online if that’s suits better.

We assist thousands of families each year and around 80% of people are able to resolve some or all matters with the help of one of our family mediators. 

Our service is affordable and free for many. Fees are capped at $448.50 per person with payment plans available or completely free if you qualify for government funding.

You can contact us for free to check if mediation is the right option for your situation and find out about funding.

Get in touch with Family Dispute Resolution team here or call us on 0800 774 420 to find out more.

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